As you read this, I hope you are in a warm home with power, egg nog and the various other trappings of holiday cheer.

Before I get to the main message, I’d like to pass on parts of a message from the Chief of Naval Operations; his words are most appropriate. He writes, we know it is not easy defending our way of life—that it is not easy to work so hard to ensure that so many others may live in freedom. It requires sacrifice and a special determination.

It requires teamwork and selflessness. Shoulder to shoulder with your counterparts in the Joint Force, you stand up for liberty, dignity, and tolerance against enemies who stand for nothing but hate, fear, and tyranny. 

Everything we celebrate during the holidays is everything you represent.

In short, and most importantly, please travel safely, celebrate safely, and take the time to appreciate all that family and togetherness truly mean.

In the spirit of the season, I want to do my part to ensure your gift giving is both efficient and effective. To that end, let me offer my lists for men and women of the worst gifts you can give; with luck you’ll avoid the agony of the infamous gift that bombs!

For Men:

Socks and underwear

A pet

Variety pack of colognes

Scented hand lotion and bath gels

Ties

Subscription to Vanity Fair or the Economist

Linda Rondstadt’s Christmas Hits CD

Theater tickets

For Women:

Home appliances

Gardening tools

Gift certificate for a weight loss program

Toiletries

Curlers, crimper, and hair care items

Dress in the wrong size

Video games

Sporting event tickets

Cookbooks

With this important gift giving information in mind, I wish you the best these holidays, thank you all (Sailor, Marine, civilian, and family member alike) for your hard work this year, and look forward to your safe return after the holidays.