Some things aren’t always so easy to figure out. Take my wife for example; with my son just barely over two years old, she’s convinced that she can potty train him quickly. She bought a Nemo toilet seat for my son to practice on, so for him to get used to it, she let him play with it for a while. Low and behold, he got it stuck on his head. Sadly though, I wasn’t there to see it, as he was apparently screaming like his world was crashing down. It’s also not so easy to figure out how the basketball Hall of Fame works.

I understand why Charles Barkley, Dominique Wilkins and Geno Auriemma were selected to the Hall, they easily deserved it, but Joe Dumars and two other guys I’ve never heard of. Seriously, if I’ve never heard of you, you probably shouldn’t be in the Hall of Fame.

There is no criterion for basketball enshrinement. What you have to understand is that this is not the NBA Hall of Fame or the NCAA Hall of Fame, it’s simply basketball. The people that vote on the entrants, God only knows who these people are, simply do whatever they want to do. It got me thinking that if it’s just a “basketball” Hall of Fame, then I’m going to put in a few people of my own.

In the world of street ball, no one turns heads or breaks ankles like “The Professor.” Anyone who’s watched a second of the And1 stuff on television knows what I’m talking about. Besides being the only white guy out there, he’s a quiet guy who just plays his game and gets that one dude with the microphone to yell, “Oh baby, professaaaaaaa!”

No one ever gives any love to Scott Skiles. After being proved wrong by my brother the other day when I said Skiles had 33 assists in a game and he really only had 30 (only), I thought that was a Hall of Fame-worthy stat. I don’t see anyone breaking that record anytime soon, or really ever. For that and that alone, I like my man Scotty Skiles.

I’m really not sure why, but I enjoy watching those celebrity basketball games almost as much as my brother said he enjoyed watching “Brokeback Mountain” the other day (got you back man). Anyway, I’ve seen Lil’ Bow Wow (or maybe it’s just Bow Wow) in about five of these things and each time he disappoints me. Regardless, he puts out maximum effort and effort is what really matters when it comes to celebrity basketball, considering I’m the only one who watches those things.

I thought long and hard about this one, but Latrell Sprewell hasn’t played a game all year and not one person in his family has died of starvation. That’s saying something, huh? Yeah, he’s definitely getting in.

Lastly, I have to put Dennis Rodman in my basketball Hall of Fame. The Carmen Electra and Madonna things give him extra credit, but for my money, he was the best rebounder I’ve ever seen. If the B-ball Hall is for guys who made an impact, you’ll be hard pressed to find someone with more impact than Rodman. He led the league in rebounding for a record seven straight season’s, he won five NBA titles and was a two-time defensive player of the year. But because of his wedding dress and multiple piercings, he’ll never get elected to anything like the basketball Hall of Fame, but he should.

On to opening day of the Major League Baseball season and what an exciting day in sports it was. Albert Pujols hitting homers, Seattle losing, the Bronx Bombers bombing, Jim Leyland and his carton of smokes back on the bench, man I love baseball. I caught myself flipping to the San Francisco Giants game every time Barry Bonds came up to bat and I realize I have fallen into the trap. It’s okay because each homerun he may hit is just another part of history, regardless of whether or not he did steroids. He’s just a marvel to watch play.

The Fab Five this week was practically handed to me. In fact, I got some suggestions through emails so I guess I’ll use a few of them.

5) Jaromir Jagr. The New York Ranger is leading the NHL in scoring this year, and I’m now aware that hockey is back. Who knew?

4) Alfonso Soriano. Because he came to his senses and decided to play left field gives my beloved Washington Nationals a fighting shot this year.

3) Tiger Woods. With The Masters starting up this week, and the fact that I’ve never put Eldrick in my Fab Five, he’s in.

2) Bret Hart. This one came from an email, but the “Hitman” was recently inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame and he is absolutely one of my favorite all-time wrestlers, and I don’t watch wrestling.

1) Joakim Noah. I didn’t know who this kid was a few weeks ago, but after his overall performance in the NCAA tourney and leading the Florida Gators to the title, this man is no kid.

There is no great way to end this column this week, so I’ll try this; I’ll recommend you look up some new Chuck Norris facts and email them to me. Those which are printable will be in my Fab Five next week. Yeah, that’ll work. Respect!