I am the parent of a teenager. I often wonder how that happened, in the blink of an eye. There is a whole set of new rules nobody has explained.

Parents whose children are older smirk and say something things like “good luck” and how much fun I’m going to have.

Looking at the statistics, parents have their work cut out for them. In 2002, 7.3 percent of Island County eighth graders smoked cigarettes, 16.5 percent drank alcohol and 8.4 percent used marijuana. I wondered if today’s eighth graders are reducing use and if my child’s friends or my child are resorting to these risky behaviors.

Behaviors associated with risk are listed in the third edition of Youth at Risk published by the American Counseling Association:

-- Fails to obey rules or directives;

-- Avoids taking part in family activities;

-- Spends a great deal of time alone in his or her room;

-- Is secretive about friends and activities;

-- Doesn’t communicate with parents or siblings;

-- Displays values and attitudes different from family;

-- Resists going to school or discussing school activities;

-- Argues about everything and

-- Stays away from home as much as possible.

I noted rules in my household are followed by vocal objections, annoying but not risky. We still share family activities, he isn’t a hermit or secretive and as long as we ask, we get the scoop on friends and activities.

In my review, I find I need to work on opening communication and maintain my expectation of participate as an involved family.

What if I had found I needed help? Where would I go? There are resources all over Island County:

Enrichment programs are available for active duty military, retirees, DoD personnel and their family members through the Fleet & Family Support Centers.  The program called “1,2,3,4 Parents” is offered for parents of 1-4 year old children. A new resource, specialized training of military parents has also come to NAS Whidbey Island.

Catholic Community Services has two parenting classes, from birth to age 3 and ages 4 and up, offered in a six-week series.

Citizens Against Domestic & Sexual Abuse offers parenting classes several times a year based on the “Make Parenting a Pleasure” curriculum.

The Pregnancy Care Clinic offers a series of eight classes for parenting for parents of pre-natal to two years.

Whidbey General Hospital offers childbirth education for expectant parents.

The Sno-Isle Regional Library, Oak Harbor, is starting a parenting series on Nov. 6.

Mother’s Circle, a free weekly support group for parents of children from birth to 2 years, meets in Langley.

The family resource centers in Langley or Camano Island are places to go for information.

Early childhood education and daycare provider certification courses are offered through Skagit Valley College.

Local churches and religious organizations offer parenting classes as well.

ESD 189 has a parent trainer who will provide trainings for families around the issues of bullying, tobacco, alcohol and other drugs.

Resource guide is offered at http://www.wicapf.org

Family Education offer a monthly class, Helping Children Through Divorce

Family Life Drop-in, Trinity Lutheran Church, office hours are open to all parents and family situations. This is a free confidential way to check out things parents are worried about with their child and get support for their parenting.

I love that Island County has so many places to support parents. The answers are out there. Are you ready to ask the questions?